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Bends of Light

Into a New Reality

Hello again. I have been checking in as often as I can to stay connected to the pulsations of light from the collective, but circumstances have kept me, for the most part, silent. The man who had been the prime catalyst for my transformation during these past few years is suddenly absent from my side. My path these past months has been through the unpredictable darkness of the valley of the shadow of death, and every ounce of my energies has been directed at navigating towards hope, towards life. Grief sneaks behind me and from time to time overwhelms me. I am so grateful for this community. I welcome you all again, new members and old, and introduce myself to a new reality.

Six years ago I received an unexpected interdimensional communication that in six weeks from my birthday I would be meeting someone very special, and on March 10, 2003 I met Don—appropriately enough, at a weekend channeling workshop in Sedona with Barbara Marciniak. Kismet. With our first words to each other at a quick lunch break, lifetimes of memories obliterated everything around us as we recognized and reconnected through what appeared to me as an ephemeral but very real tunnel of light. Literally. Everything else disappeared, just for that brief sharing of memory. (His first words to me: “You were a witch, and you were burned at the stake,” to which I responded, “Yes, and you didn’t help me, did you?” Thus an old romance began again.) It was a strange moment outside of time, yet so familiar I knew it was a divine setup. Three months later, we were sharing a loft in Florida, and the following May we welcomed—surprise!—a son into the world. Three years later, we followed Don’s dream and moved to the smoky blue mountains of Appalachia, and three years after that, cancer finally gained the upper hand. As I explained to our son, Daddy’s body broke and wasn’t strong enough to hold his spirit any more. He left this world, and left me completely transformed. Last week, crying, I screamed my pain up to the sky, “You left me alone on this planet again!” But not quite alone. I have a sidekick this time, an old teacher come to me in the form of a little boy, my son.

My path these months has been through the unpredictable darkness of the valley of the shadow of death, every ounce of my energies navigating to hope, life. Click To Tweet

Everything is suddenly different, and understandings are falling into my consciousness likes bricks on my head. The pain of separation can literally rip the fabric of your being apart, I have discovered, so I allow the pain to diminish and call on peace and tenderness in my healing. I have not known pain like this before, not when my father died, not even with the miscarriage. It is an excruciating process, yet the reality of love is everywhere alive, fear long since forgotten. These months have pushed me to the limits of endurance on every level, squeezed out every ounce of what was within me that is no longer needed for my journey. The mysteries love shares through death are surprising, powerful, pure, and memory comes alive with teachings. Don always said, whatever you have to say, ask is it true, is it kind, is it necessary? If it isn’t all three, don’t say it. I share this with you, from him. It is one of the many beautiful things he shared with people he met on this earthwalk. May the words serve you well.

Now is a time for release and healing, and I surrender to it. This is a process that cannot be rushed. I welcome the consciousness of love to fill the big emptiness. After the fine-tuning is done, communication will begin anew. In the meantime, I wish you all peace.

© Maryann Rada, all rights reserved. Repost permitted only with link to original post.

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  1. Post comment

    Lovely. I’m glad you are discovering ways to know that you are never going to be alone. Because of your love and light, I and many others feel very close to your spirit, and we share your feelings. Write more about it as you are able.

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    1. Post comment

      Thank you. I feel your presence, every one. There is much to do, but the writing is unfolding once again.

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  2. Post comment

    Hi Maryann, I feel your experience. I have lost many friends and family in the past few years. And I have been facing my greatest fears as I too discovered a Love that has been in my life through many incarnations, I don´t remember intellectually, but I feel it. I too have a son as a result. I wrote the following the other day, and thought that it might be for you too – I believe the messenger was Metatron, I don´t know for sure, but there has been much evidence that “he” is prodding me along.

    Your Promise

    Rejoice, Rejoice, Rejoice
    For All That Is, Is
    And so are You
    The Grandest Dream
    The Purest Vision
    The Deepest Pain
    Is Now Yours and Forever
    To experience the knowing, the feelings
    To see the sublime, the nature
    The All That Is and is not
    And to know, feel, experience
    That this Is, is nothing
    in the total, the One-ness, the Love
    that brings this forth, and dissolves it
    and also creates the field for these actions
    these creations to ebb and flow, to breath, to Be
    Oh Spectacular One Why Me?
    How could I be so blessed to see
    To feel this rapture, this Love?
    Oh My God!!
    To know that what I experience in this
    flesh, so exquisite, so tortuous, so real
    is as a grain of sand in all the worlds
    in all the cosmos, in infinite universes
    this is what I know, and what I
    don´t know will be mine too
    because that is Your promise
    for me to return, to You
    And be Born Again in Eternity
    Thank You!!!!

    A Prayer

    Dear Lord
    Praise be Thee
    Help me, Humble me, honor me
    That I might be YOU
    In all that I DO, Think, See, Feel
    Love
    To know, see, believe
    That all I do, Is You
    So help me God, Love, You
    Worship You in all that I do

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    1. Post comment

      Thank you, Andy, that is such a heartfelt sharing.

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  3. Post comment

    First of all, I am so sorry for your devastaing loss. May you find happiness and peace again in your new reality.

    Your writing, this piece, is exquisite.

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  4. Post comment

    I am very far away across the sea but i become near when i think of you and your lovely boy and i send strength and love, for you are never alone.. you are strong and wise and full of love…You are you…and that makes you great.

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    1. Post comment

      I feel that, Ricky, you have such a sweet peace in your spirit. Thank you <3

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  5. Post comment

    blessings to you and much sympathy for your loss. you are very brave. sharing your light, your experience was special and meaningful for me. thank you. love & aloha from hawaii .

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  6. Post comment

    Don’t know how I missed this as always clicking on the 9.
    So sad and powerful and hopeful. A very tragic and personal blog and an incredible tale of life, lives and their amazing happenings, all in a few paragraphs! You do that all the time but this…is something very different.

    Blessings to you friend

    We all love you Maryann!

    sending cat powers from the valley

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  7. Post comment

    Maryann, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you are healing day by day.

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